EVER THOUGHT ABOUT X-MASS?

The Gaffigan Christmas story (with a little creativity from this writer :-)

Strange things people do, killing a living tree from the outdoors and put it inside the house to celebrate the birth of a boy with very poor parents, how drunk do you have to be to put a tree in your house. Well this drunk guy did it and he did it with a shit lot of noise so his wife wakes up, with sleep in her eyes she ask: Why do you put a tree in our living room baby? Well because I like it he answers in flowend drunkenese, you should see it when we decorate it. But why should we decorate a tree in our house honey, what will the neighbors say? Well we tell them we do it for Jezus because he did not have anything has a child. 

Shit baby I don’t feel good can you take my boots of so I can go to sleep? My God this is not smelling good honey, I take off your socks haswell and put them in the wash. No no no put them over the fireplace, Why you want them hanging in front of the fireplace dear? So that I can put candy in there that we can give to the kids tomorrow, they should have it better than Jezus but it doesn't have to be perfect right? And by the way tomorrow help me to remind that I put all our lights in the garden. Why do you want to put all our lights in the garden sweetheart? Well then the tree didn't feel misplaced inside the house, he will think that the inside is out.  Sorry my love but now I want to get some sleep and think about all these things because I can not get my head around this Christmas things.